Little Sponges (pre-readers)
Thoughts on Sunday Morning
One day my 4 year old and her friend were chattering away in the backseat when he turned and pointed to our church and declared, “that is where we eat the bread that makes us live a long time.” It was a statement that seemed to come out of the blue. It was in actuality a statement that had been nurtured by many Sunday mornings. Those mornings were not necessarily easy. Neither one of those children were likely to sit quietly. Creating a way to participate in worship meant, crayons, paper, books, snacks, soft toys, sitting next to friends, and many, many whispered conversations. For all the times it seemed that those preschoolers were not aware of anything that was going on, somewhere, somehow they were absorbing the practice of faith and the presence of Christ. The challenge of Sunday mornings was worth it. Their presence in the community of faith seeped into them and their faith is important to us as we sit next to each squirmy child. So don’t give up keep bringing your children and we will help you find the crayons that fall on the floor, so we can be together in Christ’s presence and “eat the bread that makes us live a long time”.
Thoughts on Routines
Bedtime is important. At least in our house bedtime with small children was extremely important. We knew that if we were to vary the bedtime routine for too many days we were courting disaster. Baths, jammies, brushing teeth, then books, Bible book, prayers and bed, meant that we had a hope of a peaceful night. Routines, whether for kids or for adults play an important part of who we are. They act as placeholders in our day. Creating routines helps us to make space for the things that are central to our lives. Building a space in our day for family prayers helps to remember that Christ is central to our lives. It doesn’t have to be complicated or long. Grace over meals or bedtime prayers can bring God into the pattern of our days.
Here are a couple of table graces your family may want to use:
For food that stays our hunger
For rest that brings us ease
For home where memories linger
We give you thanks, O Lord. Amen
Thank you Lord for the food before us
Thank you for the friends beside us
Thank you for the love between us. Amen.
Also check out Peanut Butter and Jelly Prayers by Julie B. Sevig
Thoughts on Stories
“Tell me a story!” demanded the child. It was not my child, but it could have been. Stories have great power. Stories tell us about what is most important, about who is good and who is not. Stories help us figure out how the world works and what part we play in it. Stories also show us that not everything is easy, that sometimes the world is hard, and sometimes decisions are not clear cut. The Bible is filled with all kinds of writings, proverbs, history, poetry, parables, and songs. Each of them can give us a different perspective on what it means to be a follower of God. Sharing the stories of our faith is easy, just include these stories at story time. You don’t have to know them yourself, just read them along with your child and everyone will learn about the Good Shepherd, King David, and Daniel in the lion’s den. Here are a couple of suggestions for Children’s Bibles:
Thoughts on Play
Rooted deep in the beginnings of the Bible is the idea of play. It’s kind of hard to see it through the veil of translations but it is there, hidden in word play, and even in the Psalms where we see God playing around with creation. “There go the ships, and Leviathan that you formed to sport in it.” (Psalm 104:26). So it doesn’t do to take ourselves too seriously! Learning to play is important for our children, and perhaps even more so for ourselves. We can learn to play from our children. They can be our teachers and help us to relearn the lessons of play; how to go all out, and rest with abandon, how to pay attention to the tiny bugs and the rolling clouds, how to color with every crayon in the box, or have ice cream for dinner, just this once. Let your child choose the path today and see where it leads you, just for the sport of it.
Thoughts on Music
“He who sings, prays twice” St. Augustine
Several of my friends have parents who are coping with dementia. It is a hard road to travel, but one of the interesting byways is that of music. Apparently our memory for things musical is stored in a very different way than an algebra equation or even the route to our favorite ice cream shop. That musical memory is deeper and lasts longer than most other memories. We all know this when we are suddenly aware of a loop of music running though our minds. Learning hymns can give us a storehouse to call upon when we are bored or stressed or looking for a new way to connect to God. Hymns can come back to us when we least expect it and remind us of God’s love and care for us. Learning hymns can be gift both to us and to our children.
Thoughts on Baptism and Freedom
Baptism is both the beginning and the foundation of our faith journey. We proclaim the core of our faith in the vows of baptism; we also enter into a profound and eternal relationship with Christ through this act of courage. I recently ran across these thoughts on Baptism by Henri Nouwen and wanted to share them with you.
“When parents have their children baptized they indicate their desire to have their children grow up and live as children of God and brothers or sisters of Jesus, and be guided by the Holy Spirit. Through birth a child is given to parents; through baptism a child is given to God. At baptism the parents acknowledge that their parenthood is a participation in God's parenthood, which all fatherhood and motherhood comes from God. Thus baptism frees the parents from a sense of owning their children. Children belong to God and are given to the parents to love and care for in God's name. It is the parents' vocation to welcome their children as honored guests in their home and bring them to the physical, emotional, and spiritual freedom that enables them to leave the home and become parents themselves. Baptism reminds parents of this vocation and sets children on the path of freedom.
I love his observation that we are participating in the parenthood and God and are given the opportunity to welcome our children into our homes as honored guests. It changes our perspective on what it means to be parents.
Thoughts on Rainbows and Polliwogs
There have been some absolutely perfect days this summer. Cool mornings, sunny skies, just right for swimming or hiking or just hanging out. These are the days when we can almost taste the delight God has in all that is, and we can share that delight as well. For the smallest children, all of creation is fascinating and full of wonder. For those youngest, these are the windows to seeing God. For us, the wonder of a walk with a three-year-old can be our opportunity to see God’s care and creativity in everything around us. Notice God’s care in the moss and mushrooms in the cool shade of a pine tree. Hear the birds trill their joy to all who pass by. Perceive the scent of dusty leaves, and ripening berries, and wildflowers on the passing breeze. Take it all in and give thanks with your child for the wonders around you.
Thoughts on Pets
Cats, dogs, rabbits, mice, fish, hamsters, finches, horses, and even chickens and peacocks were part of the menagerie that was my childhood home. Pets become part of our families. When we take our cat to the vet she is given our last name. We come to know their likes and dislikes, their habits and personalities. Living so closely we develop a wordless bond with them, they are part of our circle of love. We cannot imagine being truly happy without them, because of that we wonder “Will our pets be in heaven?”. Some thinkers scoff at the idea, yet Martin Luther commented “be comforted, little dog. In the resurrection you too shall have a golden tale.” C. S. Lewis, in The Great Divorce, also places in heaven all those creatures we have loved. It seems to me that heaven is about the restoration of love and delight in the presence of God, so all those creatures who taught us to love would be there as well.
Thoughts on Children and the Bible
I guess the first question is why? What is to be gained? In the Episcopal tradition there are many views of what the Bible is and why it is significant. In essence it is the stories of God’s interaction with God’s people. Conveyed from one generation to another, these stories have shaped the People of God through millennia. As we think about telling these stories to our children we have the opportunity to learn them ourselves in a deeper way, or just to learn them. Don’t worry about being a scholar, these are stories. Don’t worry about if they are historically accurate. Just read them stories. If nothing else they will have a treasure trove of images and stories that will stand them in good stead when they have to read Hawthorne, Melville, and Twain in high school.
One of the easiest ways to share the bible with young children is to make it part of your daily routine. In our family, we included a “bible book” in with the nightly story time. Each night one of the children would choose a bible storybook that we would read along with the other storybooks. In the fall we would start a children’s bible reading one story each night. Generally we read books that were at the youngest child’s level. In the back of St. Matthew’s are a number of books that tell bible and religious stories. Take a look and see which ones your children might like. Check out book stores around Christmas and Easter, and the dollar stores for board books. Click the link for a list of bible books by age group. Below are some suggests for children’s bibles that worked well for us, a lot depends on your child.
Age 0 to 2 The Toddler Bible V. Gilbert Beers- Victor Books
Ages 3 to 4 The Beginner Bible V. Gilbert Beers- Victor Books
Ages 5 to 6 My Favortice Bible Storybook for Early Readers Carolyn Larson Educational Publishing Concepts
Ages 6 to 7 Tomie dePaola’s Book of Bible Stories – Zondervan
Ages 8 to 9 The Children’s Illustrated Bible retold by Selina Hastings – Dorling Kindersley (This is a tough, in-between age. This one has worked well for my children.)
Thoughts on Young Children and Prayer
Praying out loud in a group has never been my long suit. Even if that group is my family, I’m not comfortable praying out loud. So, we were faced with a dilemma, how do we teach our child to pray. Do we teach a set prayer to say every night? That seems rather impersonal? Do we use the “Daily Devotions for Families” in the Book of Common Prayer (it’s on page 136 if you’re interested)? That is going to be way above my 2 year olds comprehension and I really don’t want our prayers to devolve into a list of “gimme’s”. So what finally worked for us, and has work for a number of others is to say “thank you to God” every night. Each person in the family picks something to say thank you to God for. It can be anything or anyone. (At 2, one of our children regularly thanked God for the ceiling fan!) We followed that with the Lord’s Prayer, said by the parents. Eventually, the kids joined in saying the Lord’s Prayer and were very proud of saying it in church with everyone else.
Thoughts on Young Children and Worship
First things first, it is hard to get everyone out of the house and to church on a Sunday morning. No doubt about it, it is a daughting task. Yet, here’s the catch, being in church, being around the community of the faithful is important, not only for you but for your children. Young children store up the experience’s, the light coming through the stained glass, the candles that the acolytes carry, the music, and standing and sitting and kneeling. They listen, even as they wiggle and chatter and squirm. All those words work their way into their understanding. No, kids don’t sit still and have a hard time with quite, they want to ask questions, to respond, to explore. They haven’t yet learned to do it in their heads like we do (we all wander around mentally during worship). So just do the best you can, keep the snacks handy, and remember that everyone in the Family of Christ at St. Matthew’s has stood up and promised to support your child in their life in Christ (Baptismal service Book of Common Prayer pg. 303) so they have your back.
More thoughts on prayer
One of the activities that I enjoy doing with young children is to teach them the “Five Finger Prayer”. In reality it’s not a specific prayer. It is a way to remember to pray in different ways. Grown-ups refer to the types of prayer as, Petition, Intercession, Adoration, Penitence, and Gratitude.
For kids we talk about: Please, Please Help, You’re Wonderful God, I’m sorry and Thank you.
It’s really rather simple yet I think for all of us, we tend to forget one or the other type of prayer as we go along. So perhaps for tonight each of us can take a moment to look at your fingers and pray each type of prayer,
Finding God in the Poison Ivy
I’m not much of a gardener, or if you ask my friends, any kind of a gardener. Plants on my watch, turn up their toes as quickly as possible. Yet, I love to observe them. I admire their tenacity and ingenious ways of surviving against all odds. I find myself admiring the oddest types of plants, the raspberry vines that are waging a battle to take over the lawn, the fungus doing its best to turn the old branches into soil, even the poison ivy. Now, I’m no fan of poison ivy, I’m very allergic to it and do my best to steer clear of it, but, think about it. The roots of the poison ivy can snake for meters sending out shoots anywhere it can find sun and moisture. The leave can be beautiful and the oil can protect it from most any animal that might think it is an amazing snack. So if you stop and look, take a step back, you can see the wonders of creation in just about any corner of the world. Perhaps this weekend would be a good time to take your kids for a walk and see if you can find the treasure’s God has hidden in your neighborhood.
Gnats? Dandelions? Maybe even poison ivy? Just don’t touch it!
Thoughts on Blessings
When my eldest was very small we didn’t sleep. Not just as an infant but up till about age 4 my child rarely slept through the night. Needless to say both my husband and I walk around in a haze most of the time. During one particularly bad week, I ran into (almost literally) one of my spiritual mentors. After a short conversation about how we were coping he suggested that every night we consciously “bless” our sleepless child. So began our nightly ritual of “Good night, God bless you, I love you”. Somehow, these words have become more powerful over the years. This small act of pausing and blessing our children at the end of each day has helped to smooth out the rough times and brighten the good ones. The blessing has moved, from time to time, from the end of the day to the middle. “Good bye, God bless you, I love you” shows up as they leave for school or camp or an overnight with friends. It felt awkward at first, and sometimes still does, but I commend it to you. So for now, Good bye and God bless you.
Thoughts on Young Children and Communion
When I was growing up holidays centered around the family table. We met at my grandparents and the family would extend to grandparents, parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, second cousins, and an assortment of people who were “family by choice” as well as those related by blood. It was a huge crowd. Often we would have 2 or sometimes 3 or 4 tables full of people. The babies were always seated at the main table. Along with the crystal and china and silver was a special place for the youngest members of the family. Did they dump the mashed potatoes on the table? Often. Did they understand that this was Christmas (or Easter, or Mother’s day)? Not really, not then. They did know it was something special, extra special because we were all there and doing something different.
Eucharist is like that. We are all together doing something special, and it’s important that we include even the youngest members of the family. They are part of this too, this family meal, hosted by Christ. Do they understand? Only a little bit. (How much to any of us really grasp in this encounter with Christ in communion?) But we are all here together, in God’s house, eating a meal together. We can work on table manner as they grow up. For now, Let the little children come, we can scoot over and make room for them around the altar table.
Thoughts on Wonder and Imagination
I love being a fly on the wall when young children are playing. I’ve watched them gather all their animals around a Nativity, who know there were kangaroos at the first Christmas, and Spiderman, and Barbie? Children have a unique ability to place themselves into the story of God’s love. Ignatius of Loyola (the 16th century founder of the Jesuits), encouraged his follower to do something of the same thing. He would have them imagine a Gospel story in detail and then envision themselves as part of the story. It is a powerful practice. We all have the capacity to wonder what was going on in a story, to wonder what questions where in the mind of the people at that event. Nicodemus came to Jesus in the night to ask what he needed to do to be saved. I wonder why he came at night?. I wonder, if he asked other questions? I wonder, how he felt as he left? I wonder what he told others about Jesus? We all can wonder and use our imaginations to participate in the gospel stories. It is a powerful way to connect with God. I wonder how God is inviting you into God’s presence today?
Thoughts on a Vocabulary of Faith
My next door neighbor has a day care and I’ve had the chance to go over a couple of times this last week. Now that my kids are teens, I find I’ve forgotten some of the amazing things that happened along the way. Watching these infants, toddlers and preschoolers, I was reminded of all the learning that took place in those first years. I watched one little girl working hard to work her fingers to pick up cheerio’s, while toddler was concentrating on throwing a ball. Occasionally, each of them would stop and listen to whatever words were being spoken. You could see them trying to interpret the words, to make sense out of what was being said. Have you ever notice how we speak to young children? We speak slowly, we gesture, we repeat the phrase, often many times, and we give the child time to figure things out. Slowly they build up a vocabulary, one that will enable them to understand the world around them, to compare things, to explore their world, to communicate with others, and to continue to learn and grow. In the same way when we give our children a vocabulary of faith we give them tools they can continue to use throughout their lives. What is a vocabulary of faith? It includes both the knowledge and experiences of Christianity, Bible stories, time in church, time with other faithful people who are seeking to live their lives with love and integrity. Like the toddlers learning to speak, we start where they are, and with what we can manage. So this month pick one thing to do. Include a Bible story time at bedtime, or say grace over dinner, or one day a week write down a list of things your family is thankful for, or show up on Sunday at church 4 times in a row. Whatever you do, you are creating a vocabulary of faith that you can build on both for your children and for yourself. Peace and Blessing to you all.
One day my 4 year old and her friend were chattering away in the backseat when he turned and pointed to our church and declared, “that is where we eat the bread that makes us live a long time.” It was a statement that seemed to come out of the blue. It was in actuality a statement that had been nurtured by many Sunday mornings. Those mornings were not necessarily easy. Neither one of those children were likely to sit quietly. Creating a way to participate in worship meant, crayons, paper, books, snacks, soft toys, sitting next to friends, and many, many whispered conversations. For all the times it seemed that those preschoolers were not aware of anything that was going on, somewhere, somehow they were absorbing the practice of faith and the presence of Christ. The challenge of Sunday mornings was worth it. Their presence in the community of faith seeped into them and their faith is important to us as we sit next to each squirmy child. So don’t give up keep bringing your children and we will help you find the crayons that fall on the floor, so we can be together in Christ’s presence and “eat the bread that makes us live a long time”.
Thoughts on Routines
Bedtime is important. At least in our house bedtime with small children was extremely important. We knew that if we were to vary the bedtime routine for too many days we were courting disaster. Baths, jammies, brushing teeth, then books, Bible book, prayers and bed, meant that we had a hope of a peaceful night. Routines, whether for kids or for adults play an important part of who we are. They act as placeholders in our day. Creating routines helps us to make space for the things that are central to our lives. Building a space in our day for family prayers helps to remember that Christ is central to our lives. It doesn’t have to be complicated or long. Grace over meals or bedtime prayers can bring God into the pattern of our days.
Here are a couple of table graces your family may want to use:
For food that stays our hunger
For rest that brings us ease
For home where memories linger
We give you thanks, O Lord. Amen
Thank you Lord for the food before us
Thank you for the friends beside us
Thank you for the love between us. Amen.
Also check out Peanut Butter and Jelly Prayers by Julie B. Sevig
Thoughts on Stories
“Tell me a story!” demanded the child. It was not my child, but it could have been. Stories have great power. Stories tell us about what is most important, about who is good and who is not. Stories help us figure out how the world works and what part we play in it. Stories also show us that not everything is easy, that sometimes the world is hard, and sometimes decisions are not clear cut. The Bible is filled with all kinds of writings, proverbs, history, poetry, parables, and songs. Each of them can give us a different perspective on what it means to be a follower of God. Sharing the stories of our faith is easy, just include these stories at story time. You don’t have to know them yourself, just read them along with your child and everyone will learn about the Good Shepherd, King David, and Daniel in the lion’s den. Here are a couple of suggestions for Children’s Bibles:
- Spark Story Bible by Patti Thisted
- The Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones
- The Beginner Bible
Thoughts on Play
Rooted deep in the beginnings of the Bible is the idea of play. It’s kind of hard to see it through the veil of translations but it is there, hidden in word play, and even in the Psalms where we see God playing around with creation. “There go the ships, and Leviathan that you formed to sport in it.” (Psalm 104:26). So it doesn’t do to take ourselves too seriously! Learning to play is important for our children, and perhaps even more so for ourselves. We can learn to play from our children. They can be our teachers and help us to relearn the lessons of play; how to go all out, and rest with abandon, how to pay attention to the tiny bugs and the rolling clouds, how to color with every crayon in the box, or have ice cream for dinner, just this once. Let your child choose the path today and see where it leads you, just for the sport of it.
Thoughts on Music
“He who sings, prays twice” St. Augustine
Several of my friends have parents who are coping with dementia. It is a hard road to travel, but one of the interesting byways is that of music. Apparently our memory for things musical is stored in a very different way than an algebra equation or even the route to our favorite ice cream shop. That musical memory is deeper and lasts longer than most other memories. We all know this when we are suddenly aware of a loop of music running though our minds. Learning hymns can give us a storehouse to call upon when we are bored or stressed or looking for a new way to connect to God. Hymns can come back to us when we least expect it and remind us of God’s love and care for us. Learning hymns can be gift both to us and to our children.
Thoughts on Baptism and Freedom
Baptism is both the beginning and the foundation of our faith journey. We proclaim the core of our faith in the vows of baptism; we also enter into a profound and eternal relationship with Christ through this act of courage. I recently ran across these thoughts on Baptism by Henri Nouwen and wanted to share them with you.
“When parents have their children baptized they indicate their desire to have their children grow up and live as children of God and brothers or sisters of Jesus, and be guided by the Holy Spirit. Through birth a child is given to parents; through baptism a child is given to God. At baptism the parents acknowledge that their parenthood is a participation in God's parenthood, which all fatherhood and motherhood comes from God. Thus baptism frees the parents from a sense of owning their children. Children belong to God and are given to the parents to love and care for in God's name. It is the parents' vocation to welcome their children as honored guests in their home and bring them to the physical, emotional, and spiritual freedom that enables them to leave the home and become parents themselves. Baptism reminds parents of this vocation and sets children on the path of freedom.
I love his observation that we are participating in the parenthood and God and are given the opportunity to welcome our children into our homes as honored guests. It changes our perspective on what it means to be parents.
Thoughts on Rainbows and Polliwogs
There have been some absolutely perfect days this summer. Cool mornings, sunny skies, just right for swimming or hiking or just hanging out. These are the days when we can almost taste the delight God has in all that is, and we can share that delight as well. For the smallest children, all of creation is fascinating and full of wonder. For those youngest, these are the windows to seeing God. For us, the wonder of a walk with a three-year-old can be our opportunity to see God’s care and creativity in everything around us. Notice God’s care in the moss and mushrooms in the cool shade of a pine tree. Hear the birds trill their joy to all who pass by. Perceive the scent of dusty leaves, and ripening berries, and wildflowers on the passing breeze. Take it all in and give thanks with your child for the wonders around you.
Thoughts on Pets
Cats, dogs, rabbits, mice, fish, hamsters, finches, horses, and even chickens and peacocks were part of the menagerie that was my childhood home. Pets become part of our families. When we take our cat to the vet she is given our last name. We come to know their likes and dislikes, their habits and personalities. Living so closely we develop a wordless bond with them, they are part of our circle of love. We cannot imagine being truly happy without them, because of that we wonder “Will our pets be in heaven?”. Some thinkers scoff at the idea, yet Martin Luther commented “be comforted, little dog. In the resurrection you too shall have a golden tale.” C. S. Lewis, in The Great Divorce, also places in heaven all those creatures we have loved. It seems to me that heaven is about the restoration of love and delight in the presence of God, so all those creatures who taught us to love would be there as well.
Thoughts on Children and the Bible
I guess the first question is why? What is to be gained? In the Episcopal tradition there are many views of what the Bible is and why it is significant. In essence it is the stories of God’s interaction with God’s people. Conveyed from one generation to another, these stories have shaped the People of God through millennia. As we think about telling these stories to our children we have the opportunity to learn them ourselves in a deeper way, or just to learn them. Don’t worry about being a scholar, these are stories. Don’t worry about if they are historically accurate. Just read them stories. If nothing else they will have a treasure trove of images and stories that will stand them in good stead when they have to read Hawthorne, Melville, and Twain in high school.
One of the easiest ways to share the bible with young children is to make it part of your daily routine. In our family, we included a “bible book” in with the nightly story time. Each night one of the children would choose a bible storybook that we would read along with the other storybooks. In the fall we would start a children’s bible reading one story each night. Generally we read books that were at the youngest child’s level. In the back of St. Matthew’s are a number of books that tell bible and religious stories. Take a look and see which ones your children might like. Check out book stores around Christmas and Easter, and the dollar stores for board books. Click the link for a list of bible books by age group. Below are some suggests for children’s bibles that worked well for us, a lot depends on your child.
Age 0 to 2 The Toddler Bible V. Gilbert Beers- Victor Books
Ages 3 to 4 The Beginner Bible V. Gilbert Beers- Victor Books
Ages 5 to 6 My Favortice Bible Storybook for Early Readers Carolyn Larson Educational Publishing Concepts
Ages 6 to 7 Tomie dePaola’s Book of Bible Stories – Zondervan
Ages 8 to 9 The Children’s Illustrated Bible retold by Selina Hastings – Dorling Kindersley (This is a tough, in-between age. This one has worked well for my children.)
Thoughts on Young Children and Prayer
Praying out loud in a group has never been my long suit. Even if that group is my family, I’m not comfortable praying out loud. So, we were faced with a dilemma, how do we teach our child to pray. Do we teach a set prayer to say every night? That seems rather impersonal? Do we use the “Daily Devotions for Families” in the Book of Common Prayer (it’s on page 136 if you’re interested)? That is going to be way above my 2 year olds comprehension and I really don’t want our prayers to devolve into a list of “gimme’s”. So what finally worked for us, and has work for a number of others is to say “thank you to God” every night. Each person in the family picks something to say thank you to God for. It can be anything or anyone. (At 2, one of our children regularly thanked God for the ceiling fan!) We followed that with the Lord’s Prayer, said by the parents. Eventually, the kids joined in saying the Lord’s Prayer and were very proud of saying it in church with everyone else.
Thoughts on Young Children and Worship
First things first, it is hard to get everyone out of the house and to church on a Sunday morning. No doubt about it, it is a daughting task. Yet, here’s the catch, being in church, being around the community of the faithful is important, not only for you but for your children. Young children store up the experience’s, the light coming through the stained glass, the candles that the acolytes carry, the music, and standing and sitting and kneeling. They listen, even as they wiggle and chatter and squirm. All those words work their way into their understanding. No, kids don’t sit still and have a hard time with quite, they want to ask questions, to respond, to explore. They haven’t yet learned to do it in their heads like we do (we all wander around mentally during worship). So just do the best you can, keep the snacks handy, and remember that everyone in the Family of Christ at St. Matthew’s has stood up and promised to support your child in their life in Christ (Baptismal service Book of Common Prayer pg. 303) so they have your back.
More thoughts on prayer
One of the activities that I enjoy doing with young children is to teach them the “Five Finger Prayer”. In reality it’s not a specific prayer. It is a way to remember to pray in different ways. Grown-ups refer to the types of prayer as, Petition, Intercession, Adoration, Penitence, and Gratitude.
For kids we talk about: Please, Please Help, You’re Wonderful God, I’m sorry and Thank you.
It’s really rather simple yet I think for all of us, we tend to forget one or the other type of prayer as we go along. So perhaps for tonight each of us can take a moment to look at your fingers and pray each type of prayer,
- Please…
- Please Help…
- You’re wonderful God because…
- I’m sorry…
- And Thank you God for…
Finding God in the Poison Ivy
I’m not much of a gardener, or if you ask my friends, any kind of a gardener. Plants on my watch, turn up their toes as quickly as possible. Yet, I love to observe them. I admire their tenacity and ingenious ways of surviving against all odds. I find myself admiring the oddest types of plants, the raspberry vines that are waging a battle to take over the lawn, the fungus doing its best to turn the old branches into soil, even the poison ivy. Now, I’m no fan of poison ivy, I’m very allergic to it and do my best to steer clear of it, but, think about it. The roots of the poison ivy can snake for meters sending out shoots anywhere it can find sun and moisture. The leave can be beautiful and the oil can protect it from most any animal that might think it is an amazing snack. So if you stop and look, take a step back, you can see the wonders of creation in just about any corner of the world. Perhaps this weekend would be a good time to take your kids for a walk and see if you can find the treasure’s God has hidden in your neighborhood.
Gnats? Dandelions? Maybe even poison ivy? Just don’t touch it!
Thoughts on Blessings
When my eldest was very small we didn’t sleep. Not just as an infant but up till about age 4 my child rarely slept through the night. Needless to say both my husband and I walk around in a haze most of the time. During one particularly bad week, I ran into (almost literally) one of my spiritual mentors. After a short conversation about how we were coping he suggested that every night we consciously “bless” our sleepless child. So began our nightly ritual of “Good night, God bless you, I love you”. Somehow, these words have become more powerful over the years. This small act of pausing and blessing our children at the end of each day has helped to smooth out the rough times and brighten the good ones. The blessing has moved, from time to time, from the end of the day to the middle. “Good bye, God bless you, I love you” shows up as they leave for school or camp or an overnight with friends. It felt awkward at first, and sometimes still does, but I commend it to you. So for now, Good bye and God bless you.
Thoughts on Young Children and Communion
When I was growing up holidays centered around the family table. We met at my grandparents and the family would extend to grandparents, parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, second cousins, and an assortment of people who were “family by choice” as well as those related by blood. It was a huge crowd. Often we would have 2 or sometimes 3 or 4 tables full of people. The babies were always seated at the main table. Along with the crystal and china and silver was a special place for the youngest members of the family. Did they dump the mashed potatoes on the table? Often. Did they understand that this was Christmas (or Easter, or Mother’s day)? Not really, not then. They did know it was something special, extra special because we were all there and doing something different.
Eucharist is like that. We are all together doing something special, and it’s important that we include even the youngest members of the family. They are part of this too, this family meal, hosted by Christ. Do they understand? Only a little bit. (How much to any of us really grasp in this encounter with Christ in communion?) But we are all here together, in God’s house, eating a meal together. We can work on table manner as they grow up. For now, Let the little children come, we can scoot over and make room for them around the altar table.
Thoughts on Wonder and Imagination
I love being a fly on the wall when young children are playing. I’ve watched them gather all their animals around a Nativity, who know there were kangaroos at the first Christmas, and Spiderman, and Barbie? Children have a unique ability to place themselves into the story of God’s love. Ignatius of Loyola (the 16th century founder of the Jesuits), encouraged his follower to do something of the same thing. He would have them imagine a Gospel story in detail and then envision themselves as part of the story. It is a powerful practice. We all have the capacity to wonder what was going on in a story, to wonder what questions where in the mind of the people at that event. Nicodemus came to Jesus in the night to ask what he needed to do to be saved. I wonder why he came at night?. I wonder, if he asked other questions? I wonder, how he felt as he left? I wonder what he told others about Jesus? We all can wonder and use our imaginations to participate in the gospel stories. It is a powerful way to connect with God. I wonder how God is inviting you into God’s presence today?
Thoughts on a Vocabulary of Faith
My next door neighbor has a day care and I’ve had the chance to go over a couple of times this last week. Now that my kids are teens, I find I’ve forgotten some of the amazing things that happened along the way. Watching these infants, toddlers and preschoolers, I was reminded of all the learning that took place in those first years. I watched one little girl working hard to work her fingers to pick up cheerio’s, while toddler was concentrating on throwing a ball. Occasionally, each of them would stop and listen to whatever words were being spoken. You could see them trying to interpret the words, to make sense out of what was being said. Have you ever notice how we speak to young children? We speak slowly, we gesture, we repeat the phrase, often many times, and we give the child time to figure things out. Slowly they build up a vocabulary, one that will enable them to understand the world around them, to compare things, to explore their world, to communicate with others, and to continue to learn and grow. In the same way when we give our children a vocabulary of faith we give them tools they can continue to use throughout their lives. What is a vocabulary of faith? It includes both the knowledge and experiences of Christianity, Bible stories, time in church, time with other faithful people who are seeking to live their lives with love and integrity. Like the toddlers learning to speak, we start where they are, and with what we can manage. So this month pick one thing to do. Include a Bible story time at bedtime, or say grace over dinner, or one day a week write down a list of things your family is thankful for, or show up on Sunday at church 4 times in a row. Whatever you do, you are creating a vocabulary of faith that you can build on both for your children and for yourself. Peace and Blessing to you all.
